The Good Side of Hot Weather

OK, that isn’t the official forecast, but it’s accurate.

Photo source: National Weather Service

Just four days after ranting against mosquitoes, I have something good to write about. I am not usually a big fan of summer in Texas. My motto has always been that two hundred years of evolving on the shores of the North Sea did not prepare this German boy for here. Bug again, I have nice things to say about the heat.

And it has been hot. Yesterday’s official high was 103° F. That would be about 39.4° in most of the rest of the world. On the ride home, the sign at the neighborhood community center read 115.3° (46.3°).

But the low last night was in the mid-70s, and it’s been dry. So it felt even cooler. I was able to enjoy my morning coffee on the back porch listening to the birds and watching the dogs snorful around the yard. It was very nice.

“But what about the mosquitoes?” you may ask. I think the heat got ’em. I only killed three in about a half-hour of bliss, and those were teeny. Four straight days past the century mark (Sunday, too!) seems to have been more than they could take. I’ll take the heat—appreciate it, even, until the light bill hits—if it kills off the mosquitoes.

Mosquitoes

Mosquitos suck!

Photo source: Michigan Dept. of Environmental Quality

It is officially Mosquito Season in Central Texas. The pests have taken over our back yard to the point where you can’t venture outside without drenching yourself in Cutter.

Every time I water the plants, I go armed with a can of flying insect killer. I kill a few in various parts of the back yard, but I kill dozens as they swarm around the back door as if they heard a call to dinner.

Now the mosquito problem here is nothing compared to where I grew up. There:

• Most counties have a branch of government devoted to mosquito control.
• I have seen a sliding glass door become opaque with thousands of these tiny vampires trying to get into the house.
• After a hurricane or tropical storm, salt grass mosquito populations expand enough that you can occasionally read about them killing livestock.

Clute, Texas even has a Mosquito Festival—although I can’t think of any reason to celebrate this nasty bugs. Maybe it’s the if you can’t beat ’em syndrome.

Other than further their parasitic existence by slurping blood from you and yours, what do mosquitoes (Why do we insist on adding an e to a very nice Spanish plural noun? It not like we are comparing these miniature demons to potatoes.) do? They serve no useful purpose but spread numerous diseases:

• Canine heart worms
• Encephalitis of various forms
• Malaria, yellow fever, dengue fever, and a host of other “tropical ailments”

I thought it might be fun to list a few of the amusing ways I have killed mosquitoes this week:

• Today, I got a twofer—that is, I killed two mosquitoes that were biting my arm with one slap. I think that rates a prize of some kind.
• I got one with hair spray while getting ready for work.
• I got one in the shower with a glob of conditioner.
• Twice this week, I found a mosquito hiding in the toilet bowl. You guessed it. I peed ’em down. That takes good aim!

So: what is the most inventive way you have killed a mosquito (or other flying parasite)? Leave a comment and let me know.