Up- or Down-: -Sizing, That Is

A Del Webb survey found a smaller percentage of people approaching retirement plan to downsize than previous surveys.

This post originally appeared on the Hermit Haus Redevelopment website on 2019-12-03

And Home

Sings me of sweet things

My life there has it's own wings

To fly over the mountains

Though I'm standing still

— Karla Bonoff

Will your retirement home be smaller or larger than your current home?

The last of my generation—technically (I’m a Baby Boomer, although I often feel closer to Generation X)—is approaching that magical time, retirement. It is a goal many of us have been planning and working a long time to achieve. Others of us never thought we would or planned to “work until I die.” I was in that last camp, so I found more work to do once I “retired.”

One constant throughout our lives, however, is the need for housing. Babies, teenagers, young adults, middle-agers, retirees, and elders all need a place to live. A traditional strategy of the nuclear family has been to downsize their homes at retirement, but a growing number of retirees are upsizing now instead. Del Webb of Sun City (which my naughty fingers always want to spell with two I’s) recently conducted a survey of people in their 50s and 60s who plan to move again sometime. Bucking recent trends, 43% said they plan to move into a house of similar size to their current one while 22% said they planned to upsize.

Before I go on, a couple of caveats. A single survey should never be used as a market indicator. I also suspect that Del Webb’s choice of a sample population may have significantly influenced their results. Del Webb markets to very affluent retirees. If their sample was exclusively from their target audience, it would be like using the population of Clute, Texas to predict the results of the next election cycle. There probably isn’t enough diversity to represent the general population.

That said, let’s look at some reasons why people might choose to up- or down-size.

Downsizing

A good view can be an important consideration in selecting a retirement home, regardless of up- or down-sizing. Photo by Suna

Using the equity in your existing home

For many people, the equity accumulated in their homes is their retirement plan. That’s why home equity loans used for anything other than home improvement is a bad debt. When people look to downsize in retirement, they often use their home equity to pay cash for a smaller home and the rest to maintain their lifestyle in retirement.

Maintenance

Smaller homes are cheaper and easier to maintain than bigger ones. The costs of everything from painting to flooring to a new roof are proportional to the number of square feet in the home. And there is simply less to sweep, dust, and mop, giving you more time to enjoy your retirement—unless you look forward to those chores. Then maybe you should upsize.

Upsizing

Moving to a less expensive area

If you’re moving from NYC to Florida, LA to Houston, or Austin to Cameron, you can buy more house for the same price in your new city. While tax laws don’t currently encourage or discourage this behavior, having the ability to buy a bigger house can be its own excuse.

Room for visitors

Many retirees hope their children and friends will spend time with them. Some even move to resort areas to encourage visits. If so, you’ll need a place to put those folks, and a bigger home can be just the ticket.

I wish everyone could be as independent and active as my dad. In this picture he is experimenting with a new grass varietal for his cattle. He is 88 and undergoing treatment for the cancer that would eventually claim him.

Parents

Many boomers and Gen-X’ers have parents to take care of. This move toward a more traditional extended family is awesome. My mom and dad lived in their own house until they died. They refused any offer of cohabitation until near the end. But not all of our parents have the means or the health to maintain their independence so long. I firmly believe we should help our elders stay at home or move in with us—whatever they choose.

Parents

Helping elders stay independent at home is why Sue Ann, Kathleen, and I co-founded Hearts, Homes, and Hands to provide non-medical personal assistance. Suna and I will eventually be clients as well as principals of that company. Our goal is to provide the services and care our clients want and to uphold the inherent worth and dignity of all our elders.

Thanksgiving 2019

Rollie, Suna, and Declan picked dead things for the table centerpiece. Omnia perit. Photo by Declan

Where’s Declan? Hint: he shows up twice. Photo by Suna

Easy lovin’, everyday’s Thanksgiving,

To count all my blessings,

I wouldn’t know where to start

— Freddie Hart (1926-2018)

I swear I’m not just writing so much about gratitude this week because it’s Thanksgiving in the US. That is a factor, but it’s not the only one. I am really feeling grateful for all that’s happening to me and that I’m accomplishing. But this post focuses specifically on Thanksgiving Day.

Using my new journaling system, I blocked off the whole day as Family Time. And that’s how I spent it. I watched my Cowboys lose again. I listened to someone cry about everyone treating her unfairly. We had friends and family over. And I finally went to bed having accomplished everything on my to-do list—specifically eating too much.

Someone on NPR today said that Thanksgiving is representative of America’s genius. You don’t need to have a specific ethnicity, creed, or religion to celebrate it. All you need is people and food. And to day we certainly had those in abundance. I really am grateful.

The dishes can wait for another day.

How We Help Families in Probate

Being executor of a loved one's estate can feel like a weight dragging you down to the darkest depths below. [Hermit Haus] can help, even if it's only to listen. Image by Bitmoji

This post originally appeared on the Hermit Haus Redevelopment website on 2016-07-12.

Probate is one of those areas where emotions run high, and it's very difficult to determine the right thing to do. Many psychologists recommend not making any significant financial decisions for a year after the death of a loved one. That's good advice if you are in a position to follow it.

But what if you're not?

First, I want to be clear that I fully understand wanting to protect your family against opportunists who want to take advantage of your grief. There are plenty of those people out there, and I firmly believe taking advantage of a grieving family is a sure way to total your karma.

If your family has the resources to wait a year before making a decision, that's probably the best thing to do. If we can help answer any questions about the process, we will do so with no expectations. I was the executor of my father's estate, and that is a burden I wouldn't wish on anyone. It keeps you picking at the wound for however long it takes to settle the estate. In my case that was two years before I could begin to let the scab form.

Remember: emotional stamina is a finite resource—often more finite than money.

But if your family doesn't want the house, can't afford to keep it, or doesn't have the resources to get top dollar when you sell it, we can help there, too. We'll make a cash offer for the current value of the house and close at your family's convenience. If you're not looking for a quick sale, we have other ways to help.

The last thing we want to do is intrude on the grief process. But if you know someone who needs help or just free advice, call us. We've been there.

Weekend Trip Back “Home”

Approximate Trip Routing Map by: Google

Suna and I planned a trip back to see some of my family this weekend. Unfortunately, life intervened in a minor way. Suna had a conference where she could see some of her old friends, and I had a leadership training session with Toastmasters Saturday morning. All that means we left about 16:00 for a four-hour trip to Brazosport.

Since we had plenty of daylight this soon after the Solstice, I decided to show Suna the little town where I lived my first four years of elementary school, Brazoria. I needn’t have bothered. I didn’t recognize anything about the town. Even the old school was missing. I could have been on Mars for what I knew about my home town.

A Chemical Flare at Dow

Feeling a little odd, we went on to the hotel and checked in. From the room, we could see a flare at Plant B, part of the huge petrochemical installation that forms the heart of the Brazosport economy. That and the smell of hydrocarbons in the air made me feel like I was home again—and remember why I left. Although in the name of full disclosure, I must admit I do hold Dow Chemical stock.

After looking out the window and unpacking, we decided to get a bite to eat. We went looking for seafood, but the closest place was closed.

The Hometown Café in Angleton, Texas

Right across from it was El Toro, a TexMex café we used to eat at when I was a kid. Like Brazoria, El Toro was nothing like I remembered. It has a full bar, great margaritas, and about three times the seating capacity. There is even a painting of Superman flying across the ceiling. About the only thing that is the same is that the food is every bit as good as I remembered. The portions are a little smaller, but that is a good thing.

Suna Visiting with My Family

By the time we finished eating and got back to the hotel, it was almost 22:00, and we were tireder than we expected.

We lazed in bed for a while this morning before heading to Angleton to visit my nephew, his daughter who was visiting from California, and her new baby, my great-great-nephew. How can that be? I’m not that old.

Suna Has a Gift for Bocce

Anyway, Suna wanted eggs for lunch, and my brother Jim recommended the Hometown Café. It doesn’t look like much from the outside. Really, it doesn’t look like much from the inside either. But the food is decent, the prices are good, and the service is friendly. Texas Monthly has even named it on to the 40 best small town cafés in Texas.

We finally arrived at my nephew’s house about 13:30—roughly 3-½ hours early—to find the party well under way. We chatted. We played a variant of bocce ball. We tried to stay dry and in the shade. We had a really good time. We ate some more. We visited.

Finally, we headed home. And here I am again—tireder than expected.

Dinner with Friends and Family

Beer in a Scarf

It has been one interesting week. I started off by delivering a workshop on writing assessment questions. Two days were devoted to learning the new LMS we’re implementing at work. iTunes ate my library, including all the apps on my iPhone when I synced to the rebuilt library. That meant I couldn’t get to my work email on the phone for a couple of day.

While all that was going on, I still had to keep up with doing most of my assessment analysis. I don’t have a good client database built for this, so I use Microsoft Excel, which is a real pain. This morning, XL (I like to call Excel XL because its files are always extra large.) quit opening. It just crashes on load. Uninstalling and reinstalling Office didn’t help, and the problem exists only with XL. I spent most of the day trying unsuccessfully to troubleshot this issue.

You can see I was mighty happy to see the end of the week arrive. I invited two of my work buddies, who were visiting from California, to dinner at Mesa Rosa with the family. Suna and I had a really nice time chatting and exchanging stories.

RB and CR both ordered Negro Modelo, which came dressed in these little scarves. Unfortunately, I failed to notice the side of the beer they wanted me to take a picture of was facing away from me. The front of the scarf, which you can’t see in the photo, is tied in a cute little scarfy knot.

Unfortunately, RB had to catch a 06:30 flight home, so we couldn’t hang too long. But we did have enough time to put the work week fully behind me. I hope we can do more next time either of them visits Austin or I’m in California.

RIP, Dot

Image Source: Moon Angel

When I was little, we were so close it used to scare Mom.

Like the time I was playing with my blocks and started crying for no apparent reason. Mom told me she picked me up and asked what was wrong. “My Dorothy’s sad.” A couple of hours later, Dot called and said she and her husband had had a big fight and wanted to know if she could come home.

Another time I started cleaning up my toys. When Mom asked why, I told her Dorothy was coming. Since she lived out-of-state, Mom said that wasn’t likely. But she showed up for a surprise visit a couple of hours later. As we got older, we grew apart as siblings often do. A casual search of this blog shows that this is the first time I’ve mentioned her. We didn’t stay in contact much, but we knew we could always count on each other. Now she’s gone.

I’ll miss you, Big Sister.

Mother’s Day, Birds, and Flowers

Dad’s newest calf

We got up early (for us, late for Dad) this morning and drove into town for donuts and coffee—the most nutritious of all breakfasts. We sat around the Donut Palace, watching the head server call out people’s orders to them as they came through the door and wondering how cool/boring it must be to know everyone in town that well.

After breakfast as we trolled the streets of Yorktown trying to figure out what to do next, we came upon Uncle Carol working in his yard. So we stopped and bothered him and Aunt Kathy for awhile.

We mostly sat in the back yard talking and petting the neighborhood dog, but we were really bird watching. They have a bird feeder built to look like an Old West hotel and painted with Bed and Breakfast. Even the tiniest birds couldn't fit inside to see if there was a bed, but they all seemed to enjoy their breakfast. Among the visitors to the feeder were:

Suna sits in a field of wild flowers at the intersection of US-87 and FM1116.

• White winged doves
• Mexican doves (with red under their wings)
• Cardinals
• A yellow-headed woodpecker

Then we drove around the countryside talking about nothing. Back at the farm, we walked around—looking at the flowers and cows, mostly just enjoying being outside together.

Too soon, it was time to leave. We took the scenic route home so we could enjoy the wild flowers running amock across the countryside. Dad said there weren’t to many around his place, but we found them. I think he just looks for other things and misses the beauty around him. We found one spectacular field at the intersection of US87 and FM1116.

Happy Birthday, Mom

Mom and Dad (when he had hair)

Photo by Olan Mills

Today would have been my mother’s 89^th birthday. She lived a long and difficult life, but she always kept her sense of humor. I remember her making the ICU staff laugh just days before she died. She always had a kind word and a smile, no matter what.

Dad was, Mom’s third (at least) husband. I don’t know because she didn’t talk much about her past until the end. She was too busy looking ahead. So I only knew of one other when I was growing up.

Mom and Dad were married more than 40 years. Dad was disappointed that they didn’t make 50. She said he was the best thing that ever happened to her.

So today I am grateful for the years Mom and Dad had together. I’m also grateful for what she taught me about the healing power of humor.

If…

The BtVS Scoobie Gang (from the first or second season)

Photo source: Hulu

Jo derived these five questions from Evelyn McFarlane’s The Book of If: Questions for the Games of Life and Love. Somehow, I think five is the perfect number for these question things.

If you could program the perfect evening of television shows, which ones would you select and in what order?

I assume in this mystical place, we would magically have new episodes of the shows, not just reruns. So I’m including a couple that are no longer on the air.

6:30-7:00: Friends—This is the exception to my general dislike of sitcoms. Even though I didn’t really like any of the characters, I enjoyed their foibles and felt as if I knew this collection of twenty-somethings stuck in early adolescence.

7:00-8:00: House—I don’t know what I like about this show so much. It is formulaic and filled with really dislikable characters, but they somehow seem real, if somewhat emotionally arrested.

8:00-9:00: Buffy the Vampire Slayer—This is the best show ever. I actually like most of the characters, even the bad guys. It has horror, humor, and character development. I also liked that the strongest characters (emotionally) were the ones without special powers.

9:00-10:00: Fringe—This is the most Buffy-like show on TV today: great writing that puts realistic characters in totally bizarre situations. Again, a good mixture of horror, humor, and character.

If you had to name the one area of your life that you are the least self-disciplined in, what would it be?

I’m really not very self-disciplined, even though I work at it. There are so many areas I could cite.

But I’ll have to agree with Jo and choose eating. I just love to eat. I love most of the flavors and textures of food. And as with most of life, even the icky stuff has value.

If you could enact one law that applied only to your own family, what would it be?

See I don’t think you can legislate family. Although the family has its power structures, what makes a family work is how we negotiate within those structures.You can’t force people to respect each other or be nice to each other or even take responsibility for themselves or each other.

Once you apply a power structure to those things, they tend to shatter. Even if you attain compliance, that attainment is temporal and breeds resentment.

If you could relive any single family outing in your life, what would it be?

I think it would be the trip I took to North Carolina to meet The Prince and Flo. I really enjoyed the time we spent there. It was totally stress-free and the weather was awesome.

The trip back with Suna and Beccano was fun, too. Even though we were pushing to get home, we stopped to have fun and see some of the sights.

If you could eliminate one hereditary characteristic from your family, what would it be?

I wouldn’t. We are what we are. If you change anything about us, you change something that made us what we are and, therefore, who we are.

Farewells

My nephew Chris made the trek from Bozo’s Port. He and his wife went back early Sunday via my Dad’s.

Photo by: Parker

After the wedding, Suna and I honeymooned at a local hotel, where we had champagne as a midnight snack and for breakfast. Sweetness and Suna’s family joined us for brunch at the hotel. Sweetness went home to her kids from the hotel, and we went home and spent a quiet day catching up on important things like Facebook and family.

Today we said goodbye to the Prince and Suna’s sister. We dropped the Prince off at the airport and went to lunch with SS at the new Kirby Lane. The food is as good as ever, but they have completely ruined the atmosphere. The interior of the new restaurant seems to be designed to amplify the least sound enough to raise the ambient noise level past the threshold of pain. This was at 13:30, and the room was far from full.

We left after a tasty but deafening meal and visited the Amish Furniture store down the sidewalk. Then we took SS back to the house to pick up her rental car and said farewell.

Everyone eventually made it home safely, and our house is returning to its “normal” levels of chaos.

So this week I am grateful to have formed a new family and to feel so welcome in it. I am grateful to everyone who traveled to attend Thanksgiving and the wedding—and to everyone one who just crossed town. I am grateful to everyone—Parker, SS, Elizabeth, and many others—who helped the wedding come of smoothly. And I am grateful to be able to enjoy some relative peace and quiet at home again.

Thanksgiving

Suna and I enjoy a glass of wine before Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends. More photos are on Facebook.

Photo by: Mystery Photog

We had a full house for Thanksgiving. Suna’s sister flew in yesterday, and her father arrived this morning. TubaBoy drove Suna and Beccano to the airport to greet him. I stayed home to finish a couple couple of cleaning projects and a few odds and ends around the house.

Suna’s friend arrived with her daughter, Cakegirl, and Cakegirl’s significant other. They brought a delicious duck dish and duck stuffing, in addition to working on the wedding cake some more. I say significant other because, although they are planning to get married on 10/10/10 (they didn’t say what time), they came very close to being common law married. In Texas, that’s scarily easy.

Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful, and the company was enjoyable.

I delayed Grateful Monday until today because what better time to be grateful than on Thanksgiving. Today I am grateful for family and good friends.

Scissortail Weekend

Scissortail in Flight

Photo by: Jim McCulloch

This weekend, I went to visit my dad. It was the first night Suna and I have spent apart since I moved in. We both survived and had a really good time. Suna and Beccano made it a mother-son weekend.

My brother and sister-in-law were there visiting when I arrived. We don’t really have that much in common, so these visits turn into a tall-tale festival. We have all heard each other’s tales so many times that we could almost save time by numbering them.

When Dad and I were walking through a recently harvested wheat field, we saw the summer’s first scissortail (Muscivoria forficata). (Unfortunately, I forgot my camera this trip.) In this part of Texas, scissortails are summer birds. Dad says you know it’s summer when you see the first one. All I know is that they are beautiful birds, and I really enjoy watching them fly. Among other things, it turns out that the scissortail is the state bird of Oklahoma, but I don’t hold that against the poor bird. (The Texas-Oklahoma rivalry is a tradition, after all.)

Dad wants me to sell part of the farm to his neighbor. For once, he and I agreed exactly on what the best thing to do is. Now all I have to do is work out the details with the neighbor. It is a rare situation where everyone wins. Dad is not using the part of the farm the neighbor wants. The piece will even out the a ragged border on the neighbor’s property and give his cattle access to water. The sale will pay off all my remaining debt, max out my IRA contribution for the year, pay for a needed repair around the house, and give me a nice nest egg to tide be over between contracts.

Grateful Monday

I am really grateful to have my dad still around at 85—still looking out for me. I hope he’s around when he’s 100.

Mother’s Day

I started Mother’s Day last night by giving Suna one of the presents I bought for her. My niece has started a soy wax candle making business, and I ordered some stuff from her. Last night I gave Suna two rose-scented candles. Beccano cleaned the whole house for her. I think she appreciated that more than anything he could have bought, especially since she knows how much he abhors housework.

We skipped church this morning because the choir had to perform at an ordination service this afternoon. That was really great. Ministers from all over the country who knew our intern were there. Some of them were really good speakers.

The minister from his church in Boston told a really uplifting story about embracing a near death experience and finding god in her child. She was swinging over a waterfall when the branch broke. She tumbled about 30 feet to land sitting in a shallow at the base of the fall. Her daughter, who was playing in the sand on the bank, looked up and welcomed her back into the world of the living by saying, “Hi, Mom,” as if her mother always simply appeared at the base of a waterfall.

After the service, we went to Mesa Rosa for dinner. The kids were waiting for us when we arrived. We all ate well and had a really good time just being together. Afterward, TubaBoy gave Suna a really funny card and an apple-pie-scented candle. I brought out the second half of my gift—a set of merlot-scented candles in a wine service. My niece donated the wine service, and made the candles. Unfortunately, nobody thought to take pictures.

Finally, I hung the wooden blinds in the front room.

I miss my mom.

On the Eve of Fifty

I worked from home today so that I could spend some time with The Prince and the Boys, who are on Spring Break. Mostly I worked. When Suna got home, she told me that she would not have to pay for her insurance at the University, but she can’t add me until we are actually married. The good news is that if she works there for five years (?), she will have insurance for life.

The Prince insisted on paying at the Chinese restaurant where we had dinner. Hunan Ranch is a strange name, but it fits in with the Avery Ranch theme of the neighborhood. We used to joke about Avery Ranch being a type of salad dressing, and Hunan was a ranch dressing with Hunan seasonings. This joke got even funnier when the “A” on one of the signs burned out, leaving “very Ranch” after dark.

We dropped in to Hunan Ranch a couple of months ago, just on a lark. I am glad we did. The food has been consistently good, no matter what we try. The prices are reasonable, and the atmosphere is relaxing. Even though they took the industrial approach to the ceilings and air conditioning system, the floors are carpeted, and the walls seem to absorb the much of ambient noise. You can talk without screaming to be heard over the pep rally that seems to be an annoyingly consistent feature of restaurants these days. As usual, we each ordered what we wanted and then sampled from everybody else’s.

Grateful Monday

So this week I am grateful to have The Prince come visit. I really like hanging around with him. Too bad he lives so far away.

Back in the USSR

A mixed review for American Airlines’ customer service: exceptionally bad followed by extraordinarily good.

Photo source: American Airlines

Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC

Didn’t get to bed last night

Oh, the way the paper bag was on my knee

Man, I had a dreadful flight

John Lennon & Paul McCartney

Suna’s dad arrived late this evening after a long day fighting the airlines. We picked up The Prince at the airport. He had a long day of it. His wonderful flight that would have had him here at 11:30 AM was canceled because the plane never left Dallas for NC the previous day. We knew that ahead of time, and he had called American Airlines to have them make a change.

Unfortunately, he got a trainee who completely screwed up. Apparently, instead of rerouting him as she had said, she just canceled everything. To their credit, AA took care of him today. They paid for a limo to take him half-way across NC to catch another flight and a cab to take him from one Dallas airport to the other for the connection to Austin. Even that extraordinary measure left him in airports or on a plane for almost 15 hours. He may never want to visit us again.

After picking him up, we took him to Mesa Rosa, which has almost become a second dining room for us. A good meal and a few beers later, we were all in a much better frame of mind—ready to come home and go to bed.

Friday’s Feast

Appetizer: If you could be any current celebrity for one whole week, who would you want to be?

If I could, I would want to be Al Stewart, I guess. I’ve always wanted to write as well as he does. And it might be nice to have his wine cellar.

Soup: On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how much do you enjoy talking on the phone?

-1.

Salad: Name a charitable organization to which you have donated (or would like to).

The church.

Main Course: What is a food you like so much you could eat it every single day for a month?

There isn’t one I would want to eat every day. Variety is the spice of life.

Dessert: Have you or anyone in your family had the flu this year?

I did. It wasn’t that bad, but the pneumonia that followed on its heels was a killer.

Tumblin’ Dice

TubaBoy bought these dice attenuator knobs for his bass. They are packaged in pairs. Unfortunately, he has three attenuators.

Always in a hurry, I never stop to worry

Can’t you see the time flashing by?

Honey, got no money

I’m all sixes and sevens and nines

—Mic Jagger & Keith Richards

Not much today, just the normal stuff of life. Work was good enough. After work, we went to buy TubaBoy a new set of strings for his bass. He likes flatwound strings, like the ones that came on it. Even though I have never really cared for them—counterintuitively, they are more likely to give me blisters than the roundwound strings I prefer—they make sense on a fretless.

We ate Asian food and went home. A few of his friends came over to play Rock Band. It was strange how their cacophony merged with Beccano’s practicing to create an almost-soothing background noise, especially when it almost sounded like they were playing together.

Friday’s Feast

Appetizer: What is your favorite kind of cereal?

I like oatmeal, especially in the winter. I ate so much of it as a kid that I couldn't stand to eat it for years. A few years ago, I rediscovered it. Oatmeal makes a great, low-calorie lunch.

Soup: When was the last time you purchased something for your home, what was it, and in which room did it go?

A statue of Brigid and her sheep. It lives in the media room.

Salad: What is the funniest commercial you’ve ever seen?

This is a tough question. Even the commercials that are funny get overplayed so much that I end up not liking them and never wanting to see them again. So, I guess I have never seen a commercial that was funny enough to bear repetition. And some that try to be funny are just irritating. I will never buy Cheetos again after their commercial encouraging vandalism. You know the one where the "offended" moron acts out by putting Cheetos in a dryer full of white clothes. Disgusting. Are you listening, Madison Ave?

Main Course: Make up a name for a company by using a spice and an animal (example: Cinnamon Monkey).

Cummin Stag

Dessert: Fill in the blank: I haven’t ______ since ______.

I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Not really up to speed—I know, but I’m hungry right now. And I just realized I forgot my lunch. So I will have to get “real food” from the crapateria instead of eating a Slimfast bar. A tuna wrap sounds tasty, though.

Super Bowl Update

Some of the new Super Bowl ads were really funny, at least the first time around. Madison Avenue posted many of them on You Tube. Let’s see how well they stand the test of repetition.

Burnin’ Sky

When the sky already has so many beautiful colors, why would you want to change it?

The sky is burnin’

I believe my soul’s on fire

You are,I’m learning,

The key to my desire

—Paul Rodgers

So I worked from home all day today and got everything done.

I had lunch with Eh?—one of my former managers at ALE. It was pleasant, and we caught up on the last couple of months over a nice Chinese buffet. Her sister is being sent to China for a couple of months, but that isn’t why we chose Chinese. She knows of an opening in the technical support side of the not-record-company where she works.

After work Suna, Beccano, and I went out to eat. TubaBoy was at a debate thing, so the rest of us could eat Chinese food without whining. Notice that is two Chinese meals in one day, showing how deprived I have been feeling. We ate at the China Wall, a favorite of mine for a long time. The tables and booths are comfortable. The atmosphere is quiet and respectful. But most important: the food is great.

One of tonight’s specials was Basil Chicken. Not only do I believe that basil is the perfect spice, I like chicken. Adding to the flavor, a couple of jalapeño peppers were sliced across the width to preserve the seeds. I could have eaten this dish until I popped. Suna had the Lemongrass Chicken, which is served with broiled onions—delicious. Beccano had Beef in Oyster Sauce, which is served on a hot plate and finished at the table.

Friday’s Feast

Appetizer: How many times per day do you usually laugh?

As much as possible. I don’t count. I love jokes (even if I have heard some variant of them already). Spontaneous quips are delightful. As the Reader’s Digest column says, “Laughter Is the Best Medicine.” Laughter is good for your respiration, circulation, and heart—not to mention your psychological health.

But I don’t care for so called humor that is based on somebody being proud of their stupidity. One liners on this premise when the person recovers and makes a good, intelligent joke later are OK. But so much of today’s humor is like the “Ow! My Balls” bit in Idiocrasy, predictable, intollerant, and plain stupid. Characteristics the entertainment industry seems to confuse with humor.

Soup: What do your sunglasses look like?

I don’t think I currently own a pair of sunglasses—other than the darkened visor of my helmet. I tend to lose them or break them. And I am too cheap to have a second pair of prescription glasses made¹, which would involve constantly changing between the two any way.

Salad: You win a free trip to anywhere on your continent, but you have to travel by train. Where do you go?

Nowhere. I have always wanted to take the AmTrack to San Diego and then up the west coast to Vancouver. From there I would like to take the TransCanada to the east coast where I could pick up AmTrack again. Take it down the east coast and across the south back to where I started. The whole trip would take about three weeks.

Main Course: Name one thing you consider a great quality about living in your town/city.

Tolerance—at least when compared to the rest of the country. I know that the Southwest is supposed to have that rugged frontier spirit of “Let ’em do what they want on their own property.” But there are very few Texans left, and those who remain have become woefully bigoted Republicans. Maybe they always were (even when Texas was a Democratic state), but we were spread out thin enough not to get in each other’s hair, except in the towns and cities.

Dessert: If the sky could be another color, what color do you think would look best?

I like blue. Not that I am sticking with the status quo; Blue is one of my favorite colors. Besides, I wouldn’t want to change the chemical structure of the atmosphere enough to change the color of the sky. We probably wouldn’t enjoy that very long.

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¹ Suna and others may point out that I do own more than one pair of prescription glasses, but neither of them is tinted. This situation came about because I lost my first pair. About three months after I had the second pair made (which was a while after I lost the first pair), I found the lost pair hanging in a redbud tree in the backyard. Since the last place anybody remembered me having them was in a different town, their arrival in the backyard remains a mystery.

And So This Is Christmas

Who could want more for Christmas
than a big pair of shiny balls. Photo by: Suna

A very merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Let’s hope it’s a good one

Without any fear

—John Lennon

Well, it is the best Christmas I can remember having for a long time—even if I did wake up at 04:30. I went into the media room and read until everybody else got up.

After yummy cinnamon rolls for breakfast, we opened our presents. The kids seemed pleased with the presents I got them, and I loved what they picked out for me. Beccano got me a “ My Little Cthulu” figure (like the one in the link, but red [orange]) with two little victims and an “I’m made of meat” T-shirt. TubaBoy got me a cool book that explains all of the new mystic crystals, manufactured and otherwise. Suna really out did herself. I don’t remember ever getting so many presents—not even when I was a kid. They were all little things that showed a lot of thought, which made them all better.

Big smiles are what it’s all about. Photo by: Suna

This was also the first Christmas I remember where all of the clothing I got was in the right size. X2’s parents used to buy my clothing gifts in her size, while mine bought her clothing gifts in my size. It was funny, if occasionally stressful.

Now that I know how we do Christmas in this family, I’ll do better next year.

Grateful Monday on Tuesday, Again

So thank you all: Suna, Beccano, and TubaBoy. This has been a great year because of all of you. I am so grateful that I found you all.

Deck the Halls

Happy Suna celebrates yule.

Don we now our gay apparel,

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

—Traditional

Tonight we celebrated our first Yule as a new family. Suna describes what we did really well. I just wanted to add that it was touching. I hope we can all fulfill our goals for the year ahead. I am focusing on balance.

You’ve Got a Friend

Susaphone Sunset

Photo by Suna

When you’re down and troubled

And you need a helping hand

Carole King

UIL Competition

TubaBoy and Beccano competed with the rest of the McNeil band in UIL on Saturday. They earned a Division 1.

Church Fund Raising

We played two songs (Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend” and somebody’s “Teach Your Children”) for the church’s pledge drive dinner on Sunday. Almost everyone who stayed to listen to the speeches and music was a performer. It is sad, in a way.

Grateful Monday

Today I am grateful for music—the music I play and the music I listen to. Music is integral to human spirituality, I think. Someone at church yesterday quoted someone else as saying that musicians and poets are the true prophets. While I won’t go that far, I believe that music gives us a glimpse at the mind of God.

Tolkien based his creation mythos on music. The Greeks talked of the music of the spheres. Music can inspire tears and leave us breathless. It can make us feel the pain of others or take our own pain away. It can intrude on our most private selves and lay them bare to the world, and it can protect us from prying.

Music is our link to the eternal. It is holy, even when it is profane. I would not want to live in a world without music.