Marketing Geniuses

This innocent looking device is the evil autodialer. It’s what enables marketeers to call thousands of people a day. It can also hijack calls you make at a pay phone and place them on a more expensive carrier. I know of no legitimate use.

Photo source: Lakewood Conferences

Who thought of combining an autodialer and a voice recorder for marketing?

Who ever it was is one intellectually damaged subhuman. I don’t care what the actual message is, all I hear is, “As a valued TermiTroll customer, we wanted to let you know that we don’t care enough about you to call you ourselves.”

That really makes me want to buy their product—about as much as the sound of multiple police sirens outside my hotel makes me feel safe in a strange city.

And while I’m on this rant, who thought of having an autodialer call you up and ask you to hold for a sales representative? I mean, really! Has anyone ever done that?

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17 January Update: This morning I stayed on the line with that Auto Warranty Scam just to cost them some additional money for the call. Even if they’re using VoIP, there is some cost associated with the duration of the call.

I spoke with a polite guy who said his name was John and had a Midwestern accent. He claimed that the scam is run by General Motors. He also claimed to be unable to remove my number from their autodialer. How convenient for him.

So here’s what I recommend. Every time you get one of these calls, stay on the line to drive up their costs. When you get a sales agent on the phone, be polite or rude as you choose, but tie them up as long as possible. The longer they’re on the phone, the less likely they are to hoodwink some weak-willed person with scare tactics.

The only way to fight this kind of telephone abuse is to cost them money. And time is money.